Saturday, January 15, 2011

One Track Trainwrecks

Why, hello January 1st!  Nice to see you here on the sunny 15th, lounging around with the rest of the past fourteen days while you wait for football games to start.  Me?  No, I can't watch the game today.  Kids are still sick with some sort of alien scuffaluffagus they picked up before New Years.  There is screaming to subdue, snot to wipe and toys to disinfect.  Thanks for asking though.

What's that?  Yes, I know that computer time is like tv time.  But I owed you a blog post at the crack of the new year and well, that just didn't happen.  But I did learn that Children's Hospital is a special kind of wreck on New Years Day and that's the kind of experience you keep with you forever.  The other fourteen days?  Well... The single track intentions of an overwhelmed writer go something like this:

(1/1) I MUST POST A BLOG:  Dammit!  I know I planned to hit the blog running in 2011, but I was first supposed to finish that edit in 2010 no matter what.  So much for deadlines.  Maybe I can knock it out before work starts up on the 3rd, then do the blog after work on Monday.  Yeah, good plan.

(1/4) I MUST POST A BLOG:  Well, the 3rd came and went.  Wow are these kids are sick.  I've slept four hours total in 2011 and it's back to the corporate grind.  Since I can't dedicate tired brain cells to editing, I guess I can blog.  Ugh.  But I should really clean up the look of the page first.  Won't do to pin a diamond broach to warthog.  Maybe I'll do that (yawn) tomorrow.

(1/8) I MUST POST A BLOG: Ah, hell.  It's the 8th.  No book edit.  No blog.  No sleep.  My day job has just moved - turning a 25 minute commute to a 45 minute one.  Not helpful.  Meanwhile, no amount of coffee can salvage my exhausted state.  Screw it, let's play on Twitter and meet folks.  Self promotion is a crucial step in the independent author's game - all the pros say so!  Hey, what time is it?

(1/10) I MUST POST A BLOG: It's the 10th.  Are you kidding me?  The 10th?  So much for resolutions and well laid plans.  Fine, I'll post a blog and link it to the site.  The site with no updates.  My God, what a dump that is.  Let's update it first.  Have to have a good looking portal to the attractive front end to the well designed page with my initial pitch.  Yeah, good thinking.  I'll fix it all up in the 25 minutes I have before the screaming in the background brings down the Rapture.  (insert child puking here)  ...Or not.

(1/11) I MUST POST A BLOG: Why don't I hear fans running in my PC?  Why does the thermometer panel read 175 degrees?  Why did the monitor just black out?

(1/13) I MUST POST A BLOG: Computer is fixed, but this stock blog page is awful.  How pedestrian can one be and expect success?  Let's tweak this background.  Awful.  How about this one.  Ugh.  Why is the damn header about 250px narrower than the rest of the page?  Page = 920px, graphic = 920px - the damn things should match.  Oh goodie, now the gadgets are embedded into the body.  Screw this, where's the Jack Daniels?

(1/14) I MUST POST A BLOG: Or not.  Why does my throat hurt?  Oh yeah, those canisters of VX gas that my children brought home from daycare. Speaking of which, why haven't we all bubbled away into nothingness by now?  Oh, just pink eye and the flu? Well, that explains something.  Hey, I got a jpg file to load correctly!  A MIRACLE!  Who says prayer doesn't work?!

(1/15) I POSTED A BLOG:  Now pass the Tylenol Cold.  Where's my pillow?

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